Tag Archives: Clinton

Not Fake News

So obviously we here in the not so UK are all super excited about Brexit. Now we have a date, we can all put the finishing touches to our Brexit party plans. Whew.

Article 50 is triggered when Theresa May sends a letter to the EU. I genuinely hope she actually posts them a letter. And that there’s a New Year’s Eve style evening of TV programming dedicated to the event culminating with a midnight countdown show in which we watch TM’s hand hover at the slot of a red post box for about an hour until the nation finally yells in unison 5-4-3-2-1-Brexit! as she lets go of the envelope. Then we would all sing God Save the Queen even though she absolutely definitely didn’t have an opinion on Brexit ever and certainly never mentioned one at a party one time while loads of people were listening. Then there would be the potentially weeks of aftermath fun as we wonder excitedly if the letter will get lost in the post. The EU, Europe? Good luck with that address, Royal Mail.

But in the meantime, AMERICA JESUS H CHRIST WTAF?? It’s sort of too late – and yet things do actually seem to keep getting exponentially worse so probably still worth doing – WAKE UP.

An American acquaintance of my mother’s once said to her, genuinely perplexed, that she didn’t understand why the rest of the world thought of Americans as stupid. My mother, always ready to help others where she can, wrote her a long explanatory letter. Incidentally, she never heard from that acquaintance again.

I think I’ll suggest she sends a similar missive to the FBI, who apparently thought it was okay to not mention this prior to the election:

http://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/the-trump-campaign-has-been-under-investigation-since-july

Even though there was totally precedent for mentioning that a candidate was under investigation because they did it to Hillary Clinton during exactly the same election.

But let’s not blame the monumental cock-up of electing Donald Trump on the FBI. That, my friends, is on the American people. And don’t give me that but-the-majority-of-us-didn’t-vote-for-him bullshit. Your electoral system hasn’t changed in probably ever – you all knew what the stakes were. This is on all of you – like Brexit is on all of us.

But if any you genuinely don’t get what you did wrong, I’ll be happy to introduce you to my mum.

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My fellow Americans

Here’s the thing. If there are a few sub-par teachers at your kid’s school, you don’t get them fired and then replace them with plumbers. Even if those plumbers have proper useful plumbing skills, and they’ve been in the plumbing trade for 30 years, and also they like a laugh a spot of banter (even if their jokes are sometimes a bit “racist”, and their banter is sometimes a bit “locker room”).

You just understand that to be a teacher you need skills and experience as a teacher. You replace the bad teacher, of course. But with another teacher, obviously.

There are many Donald Trump supporters who explain their support as being because they’re sick of politicians. But the solution to bad politicians is to replace them with good politicians. It’s specifically not to replace them with people whose skills lie in totally different areas. You would never want an electrician to do the job of a dolphin trainer. Or a chef to do the job of a wigmaker. Or a dancer to do the job of an interior designer. Well you just wouldn’t, would you?

We in Blighty made a massive gaffe recently, and I for one secretly hoped it might inspire you Americans not to make a ginormous gaffe. We too were a land disillusioned by politicians. And a majority of the population used the EU referendum to voice that disillusionment. They didn’t vote for the good of the county, or the continent, or the world, or their families, or even themselves. They voted against the politicians.

And in doing so they shot the whole country in its national foot.

Is Hillary Clinton perfect? Not even slightly. But you know what, that’s your fault too. If you want excellent politicians you have to fight for excellent politicians, not sit at home whinging about how you’ve had it up to here with politicians. That’s how democracy works – you have a voice.

But look, it’s too late to worry about that now. Today you only have a choice between two people. And since the job description is “politician”, and only one of them is actually a politician, your choice should be pretty astonishingly simple.

And next time round, instead of not getting involved because you’re sick of politicians, maybe you’ll get involved specifically because you’re sick of politicians.