Australia is on the brink of a postal vote (welcome to the 21st Century, cobbers) about same sex marriage: should it be a thing. And an astonishing number of people seem to think the answer is no – based on two main arguments.
1. Same sex marriage will destroy the concept of the traditional two-parent family and THINK OF THE CHILDREN.
2. Same sex marriage will destroy all the other freedoms we hold so dear, in one fell swoop.
Marriage is a contract between two consenting adults. And literally, that’s it. It has nothing to do with children.
If marriage and children were one and the same concept, irrevocably linked:
What about couples who marry and then find they can’t have children? Should they be forced to get an anulment? Should people be compelled to have fertility tests before they reach marrying age, to weed out the ones who can’t have children so competent breeders don’t waste any time on them?
What about people who could but choose not to have children – because of a genetic condition they don’t wish to pass on; because they think there are enough children in the world; because they just don’t wanna. Should they be banned from marriage?
What about people who have children but aren’t married – should they be forced down the aisle?
And what about all the perfectly heterosexual people who can and do have children – and then break up and the child lives with one parent. How about that for eroding the traditional two-parent family, without anyone being even a little bit gay?
The traditional two-parent family is an out-dated concept and we should want it a bit eroded. What about children who are brought up by grandparents or other family members? They don’t count? What about adopted children? Step-children? Blended families? IVF babies? Single parent families? Are they all irrelevant? We are a very long way, scientifically and socially, from the ‘traditional two-parent family’ – and it wasn’t the gays that got us here, it was evolution and experience and common sense.
And quite honestly, how does any two people being married affect anyone else – children or otherwise? Say John and Bob live down the street from a traditional two-parent family. How is it any different if John and Bob are flatmates, or an unmarried couple, or a married couple? It makes no difference because literally it’s NONE OF THE TRADITIONAL TWO-PARENT FAMILY’S BUSINESS. And why should John and Bob’s relationship have any more impact on the traditional two-parent family than the heterosexual relationship of Jack and Jill who live opposite? It doesn’t because literally IT DOESN’T.
So what about all those freedoms we won’t have any more. I found this helpful list on a popular social media site:
1. Freedom of religion. Because introducing same sex marriage means no one will be allowed to preach their own religion’s view on “real marriage”!
Freedom of religion actually means anyone can practice any religion they like without fear of persecution. It’s not really about what those religions say – that would be freedom of speech… But ignoring that for the moment – religions preach what they preach and most of it doesn’t make sense to most of the world anyway. I’ll use Catholicism as an example as that’s the church that seems most concerned about gay marriage. An ethereal deity who created the universe out of a void of nothing in seven days, and then made a man out of dust and a woman out of one of the man’s ribs? Okaaaaay… A guy who turned water into wine and a loaf of bread and one fish into a meal for 5,000 people, and then came back from the dead? Suuuuuuure… Plenty of people don’t buy it, but that doesn’t stop priests around the world saying it.
And when it comes to more modern worldly matters, the church says what it wants there too. In Australia abortion is legal – but the church says it’s wrong. Divorce is also legal – but the church says it’s wrong. What’s so special about gay marriage that suddenly the church fears it will be left metaphorically bound and gagged with its tongue cut out? If the church believes that “real marriage” means one man and one woman – they’ll be free to say that too. It will be, as far as the majority is concerned, just one of the many nonsenses they’ll pedal on Sunday to their congregations.
2. Freedom of speech. Because introducing same sex marriage means no one will be allowed to say homophobic things any more!
Freedom of speech is not and has never been an excuse for bigotry. It means you can say what you like without going to jail – but it doesn’t mean you’re a good person. So you support Nazis? Well you can say it out loud if you like Donald Trump, but most of the world is going to think you’re a dick. So you think black people should still sit at the back of the bus? Well you’re free to express that opinion if you want to, but don’t expect many dinner invitations afterwards. So you think homosexuality is a sin? Well you go right ahead and say so, but…
Wait – what’s your argument here? You don’t think homosexuality is a sin at all – you think it’s fine, each to their own, in fact some of your closest friends are gay. But if they were to be able to marry suddenly society as we know it would implode and THINK OF THE CHILDREN…?
3. Freedom of education. Because faith based schools might not be free to teach their own views of marriage!
So not about education at all then, but about religion. So the same as Freedom #1. Which is the same as Freedom #2. See above.
4. Freedom of association. Because introducing same sex marriage means that anyone who doesn’t support it might be ostracised in the workplace!
Your attitude to gay marriage – or any number of other things – will certainly see you either accepted or ostracised in your workplace. See Freedom #2 and supporting Nazis etc. Its nothing to do with the outcome of a vote or an official change in law. If you’re a dick, people are going to think you’re a dick.
5. Freedom of employment. Because if same sex marriage is legalised, employees might be harassed into supporting it!
Where do you work?? I genuinely don’t know what that even means.
Take a look at one of the pictorials on social media which outlines the reasons why same sex marriage is wrong. You’ve seen them – they’re illustrated by a stock photo image of a smiling priest. Then replace the concept of “same sex marriage” with something that used to be controversial but we’re better people now – like “interracial marriage” or “women in the workplace”.
And see how offensive all those precious ‘freedoms’ look then.
150 years ago slavery in the US was commonplace. 100 years ago, women couldn’t vote. 50 years ago homosexuality was illegal. Just because something was once the norm or even the law doesn’t mean it should always stay that way. All of those things are an embarrassment to humankind. We wonder now how they could ever have occurred in the first place, and why it took us so long to right those wrongs.
Same sex marriage will be one of those things. And I genuinely hope that every Australian I know – and there are some – who is voting against it, is alive long enough to feel thoroughly ashamed.